3 Types of Destructive Beliefs

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How often have you caught yourself scrolling through your friend's/acquaintance's media post and wondering if I could have traveled like her, I wish I had six-pack abs like him, or I wish my spouse would cook dinner for me just like him/her. Let's be frank! Don't we do it. Is it harmful? You might not feel the immediate impact but guess what - you end up setting up a trap of negative thought patterns that disturb your mental wellness. 

From my personal experience, I’ve learned that overcoming these negative thought patterns is essential for building resilience and leading a fulfilling life. Here are three common destructive beliefs that can hold us back.

Belief No 1: Unhealthy Beliefs About Ourselves

One of the most common destructive beliefs is feeling sorry for ourselves. I used to fall into this trap, especially during tough times. For instance, if I faced a setback at work or struggled with a personal issue, I would catch myself thinking, “Why does this always happen to me?” This kind of self-pity only made the situation feel worse and kept me stuck in a cycle of negativity. Because you are so focused on thinking and feeling bad about yourself, you don't really get to see the way out. 

How to Overcome It: The key is to recognize when you’re falling into self-pity and challenge those thoughts. Instead of constantly thinking about how unfair things seem, I learned to move into a solution space by asking myself, “What can I do to improve this situation?”. This shift helped me in two ways. First, accepting the fact that life is not a bed of roses. No matter how well-planned things are, there will be things that will be out of your control and secondly quickly trying to look for option A, option B, and if possible option C. By doing this I was able to move forward more effectively.

Belief No 2: Unhealthy Beliefs About Others

Another destructive belief is thinking that others control how we feel or behave. I remember times when I’d blame a difficult colleague or a demanding family member for my stress. It felt like their actions were dictating my happiness. This belief gave away my power and left me feeling helpless. 

Let me share an example. Let us say you shared something with your spouse expecting a very concerning response but you really didn't see that. This expectation gets you into a self-pity mode of thinking "poor me, nobody cares about me"!. You have got to stop there. It's ultimately your choice how to feel about a situation and yourself. Expectations are natural, but when not met - you know it's time to keep a check on your thoughts. 

How to Overcome It: Empower yourself by recognizing that you control your reactions and responses. I found it helpful to remind myself that I am responsible for how I handle interactions with others. By focusing on what I can control—my own behavior and choices—I regained a sense of control and reduced my stress.

Belief No 3: Expectations and Rewards

We often expect something in return if we offer to do something for others. Expectations are normal and come naturally to us. The impact of such belief is that if our expectations are not met, it can throw us into a dungeon of dark thoughts. 

How to Overcome It: Accepting that life isn’t always fair and that for every action you take you should see a positive outcome will for sure help. Just hope for the best outcome and leave it there. Do not keep on mentally chasing or obsessing about the outcome of your effort. 

Moving Forward: Small Steps to Change

Overcoming these destructive beliefs isn’t easy, but it’s possible. Start by recognizing these negative thought patterns and make an effort to replace them with healthier beliefs. 

For example, a colleague of mine needed some desperate help with planning an event. I could see how overwhelmed he was. I offered to design the event presentation deck that he was stuck with and that presentation did really well in the event. The old version of me would have expected this colleague to give me credit for the PowerPoint deck during our weekly meetings but instead, I focused on just making the event a success. That's it. Yes, the usual thing happened, that I never got any credit, but it was ok with me since I never expected it in the first place.

I encourage you to reflect on your own destructive beliefs. Start small, start with one step at a time, and see your life and overall well-being change. 

Dear readers, I would love to know what you are doing or have done to help yourself or someone known to you. Please comment and share. Let us take more people on the journey towards a balanced life. 

With Much Love and blessings,

Mama HealthNut